Seed for Success | Empowering Women Entreprenuers

Remember when the media was full of stories about superwomen who were working full-time jobs, raising perfect children, volunteering at their children’s schools, and hosting gourmet dinner parties in their spare time? Meant to be an inspiration, instead they made everyone else feel inadequate—and probably had nervous breakdowns themselves.

I am often perceived as “having it all” and let me say this outright: I hate that phrase. It implies that every person wants exactly the same thing, which is completely untrue. You don’t have to marry the lawyer or doctor, win the U.S. Open, and become a CEO all in the same year in order to find success and happiness. Blindly striving to have it all is not the answer. Having what I call a 360° Life isn’t about reaching the top in everything you do—it’s about achieving balance and creating a fully rounded existence, one that encompasses deep satisfaction with your personal life, work, and family.

I was a workaholic in my twenties, wanting not only to achieve, but to overachieve—to go farther, faster, and do more than anyone else. I did whatever it took to get ahead in my career. I was really happy during those years and don’t regret a moment of all that hard work. Yet today, with a husband, two teenage children, and a black lab, I have a keener appreciation for life’s other pleasures. I still work hard and travel constantly, but when I’m away from work, I’m truly away. Even if you’re ambitious, it’s not a crime to leave at five-thirty on some days. You’ll be a better, more effective employee if you have a satisfying personal life.

If you want both a family and a career, can you do it all? Maybe you can have all the things you want—just not all at the same time. In my case, this meant focusing mainly on work in my twenties and thirties and becoming a mother in my forties. That choice wouldn’t suit everyone, but it worked for me. My husband Tom and I both were comfortable with my returning to work full-time shortly after adopting our son, Duffy. It was always a balancing act to raise kids, work long hours, and travel at the same time, but it is doable and possible to have a 360° Life, though time and energy are both finite, so you’ll have to make choices. Explore solutions to the family-plus-work equation—either traditional or not so traditional—that might work for you. And try to remember, it’s not about whether you can have it all, it’s about whether you can be happy whatever you’re doing.

By Cathie Black, president, Hearst Magazines and author, Basic Black: The Essential Guide for Getting Ahead at Work (and in Life)

What does it take to be successful? In my experience, I’d prioritize tenacity, passion, decisiveness, creativity and integrity.

That being said, I think one of the greatest choices anyone can make in pursuing personal success is to be mentored by someone who’s doing what you want to do. Who’s being what you want to be.

I’ve had a number of really good mentors. The first being my mother.

As a young girl I’d watch her get ready for work. She was all love and yet all business. And I wanted to be just like her. I grew up watching her, learning from her. Much of who I am today is a result of my mom’s (inadvertent) mentoring.

And that set the stage for my seeking other mentors during my early career years.

One of the best was John Murray.

Fresh out of college, I worked as his sales and marketing director at Briar Hall Country Club. Not only did he see potential in me beyond what I could claim on a resume, he took me under his wing. He showed me the ropes. He took the time to show me how he did what he did. And I learned. A lot.

Practical education still is the best education. And that’s why mentoring is such an asset when pursuing personal career success.

So seek out your mentor. Find someone you admire, who essentially is what - and who - you want to be. Take as much as that mentor is willing to give.

And then someday, become a mentor yourself, and pay it forward.

By Carolyn Kepcher, co-founder of fwm: finding what matters